I was sitting on the edge of the bed last weekend talking to hubs over in his chair. We were planning and discussing our weekend and the things we wanted to accomplish. His favorite weekend statement is, “I plan to have no plans.” Of course, as a good wife, I believe it is my God given role to disrupt that statement and I was pressing for some feedback on the ideas I had in mind.
Now, if you have been married for any amount of time you know that with some – not saying who exactly, but SOME – men, the more you press the more they clam up. I was having a difficult time getting anything out of him when I said, “I have an idea” and he responded with “Those are dangerous words. In fact, they are very dangerous because they usually involve me.” I laughed at him and acted like I didn’t know what he was talking about.
Of course, I want a new stacked brick wall around my flowerbeds just like they have in Better Homes and Gardens. Who wouldn’t? And a brick path winding its way around my flowers. And yes, I think we do need a new chicken house and I have ideas for the planning of that project. AND, if we have time I think some raised garden beds to go with the ONE that was built two years ago would be nice. Yes, I know, I do KNOW, weekends are for resting, but it is a small idea, just a very small idea that I wanted to share.
None the less we got to laughing and then out of the blue he said, “There are some other words that scare me nearly to death as well.” I tried to look shocked but asked him to enumerate. We had fun coming up with a list of four words strung together that seem innocuous but in fact, are kind of scary if one thinks of the implications.
I have been thinking… This parallels the “I have an idea” phrase nicely. It puts the receiver on high alert. Naturally, one has to put up with the boatload of sarcastic replies (I didn’t know you could think…) before one can genuinely tell their idea and often the receiver can sidetrack the sender and the idea fizzles into nothingness until the next weekend. BUT, most ideal thinkers are so very persistent and it all works out.
Can I try this…mix things from the kitchen, to make a volcano. NO! Try to see how many matches it will take to melt a plastic, green army man. I thought I said NO! Cutting a dead snake to bits and stuffing the bits down an ant hole to feed the hungry ants. Good Grief! Where do they come up with their ideas? Maybe they were thinking?
Have you seen daddy…People are coming over for pity’s sake. I need him to mow the yard and put out the chairs and he is no where to be seen! I finally find him in the back recesses of the barn sorting through old coffee cans of screws! I kid you not.
This color will work…says my hair dresser right before she turns the frizzled mess into something resembling a baby orangutan. Kind of orangey blond but definitely NOT working.
We had a flat… You better be walking into this house within the next ten minutes or I will wake up daddy and send him to help you “fix” your flat.
I don’t know… While this seems to be an OK thing to say it can also cause volatile reactions. Where are your shoes? Why do you have a pencil hanging from your nostril? Who ate all of the ice cream? Why is there a dead cat on my front porch? You don’t know? What do you mean you don’t know? Some random person wrote all over BOTH arms and you don’t know who?
As hubs and I talked about the different word phrases that bugged us the most, we both agreed that there is one phrase that just makes us want to shake some sense into their heads.
You Don’t Understand.
My general reply goes something like this, “You may be right, and you are smart enough to come up with a solution that does not involve me. Bye.”
Have a Great Day!