Lowe’s and Behold

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As I was growing up I often heard the phrase “lo and behold,” when something fantastic or out of the ordinary would happen. For instance if we got all the peas shelled before momma got home from work or one of the older kids got home before momma and daddy expected them to. It wasn’t a daily phrase and it was often uttered with a heavy dose of sarcasm as in, “Well, lo and behold, look who finally showed up now that the work is done.” I have used it on my kids many times over the years and after this past weekend I have had cause to apply it to my good husband of many years. ONLY his “lo and behold” happened at Lowe’s Home Improvement Store, so that puts a little twist on things.

Our moment began on the Saturday before Memorial Day. This is the Saturday everyone rushes to Lowe’s to get last minute yard stuff, BBQ stuff, flowers, trash bags, or a bit of lumber so that momma can have a nice family get-together on Monday. Also, by the end of May it is nice weather and more folks are out and about fixing things.download

To back this tale up a notch, we began at a small outdoor furniture place on the corner right by our house. We got out of the car, he looked at one price tag, and we got back in the car. He humpffed and said, “We can get better prices at Lowe’s.” I didn’t really care so off we went. We stopped at the garden store to get a very large pot that I thought I needed. By the time we arrived at Lowe’s, I believe that all but thee parking spots were filled. However, the Lord was with us, and a car pulled out near the door. I pulled into the spot and we got out of the car.

As fate would have it, everything he looked at was much cheaper than the ONE item he priced at the store right by our house so all was working out well. We found several things on sale and got a flat cart that wobbles. The table and six chairs came in two large boxes. Two youngish, strong, men pulled it from the shelves and loaded it onto the cart. We added another table – because it was on sale and two, wicker lounge-type chairs. ALL told, less money than that one set at the other place. Hubs was pretty puffed up about his savvy purchases.

I couldn’t argue with the prices but I was having trouble visioning the large boxes on the TWO large flat carts fitting into my SUV. I told the man that we would have to go home and get the pick-up truck. I got the glare as hubs hitched his pants in the ubiquitous sign that says, “I can load anything into any space!” And so we check out four large boxes, several plastic bags, and two, six-foot long, tiki torches. All to be shoved into the back of my 2009 Pathfinder.

The 2009 Pathfinder is a great vehicle. We get lots of stuff in there, plus lots of kids, but I am talking about four large boxes PLUS I had a very large blue garden pot in the back. As we begin the re-arrangement of the seats and the stuff it was quickly apparent that not everything was going to fit, even if he was a Master Packer. We shoved and stacked and re-arranged and stepped back. I urged him to go get his pick-up but NO, we were going to be able to get it in the Pathfinder.

He trots back to the door to get the twine that is usually offered there. I smile at all the folks walking by eyeballing our stuff spread out everywhere. Hubs comes back with a fifty-foot length of plastic wrap. I raise my brows at him. “They were out of the twine.” I nod and say, “So we are going to shove this stuff in the back and hold the door down with the plastic???”

“No! WE are going to tie it on TOP with the plastic.” Lowes_1

Let’s just say that the Pathfinder’s roof is way taller than I am and the larger box was clearly marked at 125 pounds. That is a lot to lift over our heads. I pointed this out and suggested that some random man person walking by could help lift it. Uh, NO. On highest tip-toe and stretched out arms I managed to guide my side of the smaller box to the top of the car. That was the flat, smaller box.

Using his laser measurement eyes he decided that the box already snuggled inside the car would be better on top. So we unloaded everything, drug the box out, and replaced it with the first box. Now, we were going to lift a 155 pound box to the top of the roof. Before he could take the next breath, I asked a man walking by if he could help us and he was glad to. It really wasn’t that difficult to ask for help but that is another lesson.

Lowe’s and Behold the boxes are all loaded with two perched on top of the Pathfinder. He tries to tie on with the plastic but it keeps breaking and ripping. I don’t know what is so difficult about having to go BACK in and purchase rope but it was a struggle for one of us. Finally, rope is purchased. However, it can be difficult to throw light, clothesline rope, over a twelve foot stack of boxes. A few tosses along with some advice and he is in full gear. I must say, hubs is a knot tying genius. Lowes_3

As one point he is hanging onto the rope while standing on the sideboards. Only about thirteen folks are watching us and I believe one lady clapped when the last attempt to sail the rope over the last corner was successful. Anyways, he is trying to balance, tie, and stay on the sideboard. He says to me, “Push on my butt with your shoulder.” And I did. I held him in place while he tied the last knot. Nothing a good wife won’t do to help her man.

He hopped down, swiped his hands back and forth, put his hands on his hips and said, “I knew we didn’t need the pick-up.”

It took us an hour and a half to get home at 25 mph.

About Fawn Musick

Writings to make you Smile and Think. Fawn is an award winning newspaper columnist. She is an avid writer, blogger, and mom. Her advice comes from her years of mothering her eight children.
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One Response to Lowe’s and Behold

  1. Judy says:

    I love your life!

    Like

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