Life in the Fast Lane



In the last few weeks my life became increasingly complicated. At the end of April our teenage daughter requested a dog for her birthday. Being the good mother that I am I got her the dog of choice – if you can call it a dog. Looks more like a small rat, but he can put on a cute face when needed. So we have a tiny, tiny dog underfoot and guess who gets to keep him while said teenager is at school and work? If you guessed the mother of the household you would be correct. If you guessed the other kids or the dad, you would be foolish.

Even though I have a busy schedule I am now in charge of training a dog that fits in the palm of my hand. We go outside and I walk around waiting on him. The grass is up to his belly so it tickles the private areas that should be working. He whines and puts on that face that says, “You expect me to pee while the grass is tickling me?” Actually, I do. I try to find bare spots or dry spots but it never fails that as soon as we come in the house he squats and pees right on the floor beside the pads that I have laid out.

I know, I know he is little. I have heard it all. The fact is that now I spend my days and evenings chasing a small dog around my house and yard. I get to listen to him whine when I shut him out of my room. I pull socks across the room so that he can get exercise. I convert the cat crate into a small dog crate and clean up the messes he leaves behind.

About the time I got him into a good routiIMG_3150ne momma kitty had her kittens. In the rain/hail storm. We looked for several days for the kitties and finally found them screeching and clawing their way out of a hole by the side of the house. Momma cat and dog sat on the porch and watched us excavate them. SIX of them. They were hungry but she was not interested.

Quickly, with the dog on my heels, I made a cat box and lined it with an old towel. I brought momma kitty to her responsibility and she hissed at me and trotted off to the IMG_3250flowerbeds. I brought the kittens to her and tried to help them latch on. She got up and walked off with them hanging on. I put the cats back in the box. I was faced with a box of mewling, scratching, howling, hungry cats and one dog determined to scratch his way into the new cat box.

By the end of that day I knew I was going to have to feed the cats. They were pitiful and momma kitty had curled up in the flowerbed. She didn’t look so good. I ran to the store and bought bottles, nipples, food and more doggie pee pads. The first feeding didn’t go so well. The milk would not flow out of the bottles and the cats clawed and scratched while the dog licked the milk drips off of my foot. They weren’t exactly purring but they did get a few drips of warm milk in their bellies.

The next morning while out letting the dog do his thing, I found momma kitty in the flowerbed. She hadn’t moved since the previous day. I talked to her and Dog gave her a growl and we headed inside to the morning feed. Talk about ungrateful cats! They scratched and clawed and complained the entire time I was trying to feed them. They were smaller than the palm of my hand but they were feisty.

That was two weeks ago. Momma kitty got worse and I took her to the vet. She was sick so I couldn’t really be mad at her anymore. The dog adjusted to his crate and is sleeping all night. The cats have turned from cute, little, fuzzy things into screeching monsters. They are loud and demanding. I can’t go anywhere but what I have to run home and feed the cats.

My kitchen smells like wet cat and baby formula. I feed on the two box system. I grab from one box, feed it, and then put it into the other box. AND I freely admit that there are times that they are squirming so much that they take a direct squirt of milk up the nose. They sneeze and snort and shake. I hope there is not some kind of cat-milk-up-the-nose mold or these little cats will have it in no time.

A neighbor suggested that I take a wet towel and rub the cats much like the momma kitty would. Especially their private parts so they can pee and poop. And I did that for a time or two until I figured out that it is a thousand times easier to hold them under the kitchen faucet for a few moments right after their feeding. I towel them dry and gingerly place them in a laundry basket with a fresh towel. I set the basket in front of an electrical heater to let them warm up and all works fine until the little dog sees a small cat arm poking out of the laundry basket hole.

He gallops over and sniffs, then he licks, then he nibbles up and down the arm. The cat shrieks which sets the entire basket to screeching which scares the little dog so he promptly squats down and pees on the floor.

All this plus two teenagers, a pre-teen and one hubby. Life is grand!

About Fawn Musick

Writings to make you Smile and Think. Fawn is an award winning newspaper columnist. She is an avid writer, blogger, and mom. Her advice comes from her years of mothering her eight children.
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1 Response to Life in the Fast Lane

  1. Judy says:

    Oh how I envy the peace in your home!!!


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