On Tuesday evening of this past week I decided to go to the gym to work out. I had been in with the kids on the snow days and I thought I needed a short break. I was going to go by myself. Usually I like to get on different machines and take a few laps on the track in between. On this Tuesday, however, I just wanted to walk on the treadmill. I wasn’t in a hurry or a competition to do better. I wanted to walk a couple of miles and return home a little saner than when I left.
So, I make sure all is well at home, rush out the door and head to the gym. I managed a parking spot fairly close and headed inside. It was not too busy and as I came up the stairs I could see that one of the treadmills in “my” space was open. I tugged off my jacket and hurried on over. As I got started I wished I had taken the time to get a drink, but my treadmill was moving and the LED timer was blinking away so I walked.
I like to warm up for two minutes and then crank it up. I had just finished my first quarter mile when a person hopped on the treadmill beside me. If you have ever been to a gym you know that most treadmills are mere inches apart. I usually don’t pay much attention to the person next to me so I kept walking. In a moment I turned to her because I thought she said something to me. WRONG! She was on her phone! Talking in some weird language I could not even understand. By the half mile I was very tired of her conversation. She did not bother to lower her voice or even try to be discreet.
I certainly did not want to listen to her conversation with her friend during my one night off to walk on the treadmill. At the sixteen minute mark she dropped her phone. I almost clapped. She had to stop her treadmill, hop down, get the phone, and then re-start the procedure. I was thinking, “Serves her right. I am sick and tired of trying to NOT listen.” In addition to the loud talking, she clomped. Let’s just say, she got on my nerves. My very last one!
I was secretly hoping that the phone was broken but NO, she hopped right back on and started clomping and gabbing again. I decided to pray and walk so that I would be calm and serene. That worked for a bit and then for some unknown reason she hung up. Whew! I had a great quarter mile when I hear her voice again. I slit my eyes sideways, but I guess on the treadmill she can’t really see me.
Sure enough she increases her volume so she can hear over her clomping. At the mile and quarter mark I decide that I will only walk a mile and a half and then maybe do some weights so I can get away from her. I increase my speed to get finished faster. Suddenly, she stops her treadmill, grabs her phone, and hops off. YAAAYYYYY! I decide to walk a little longer. I am stretching it out and have about ten minutes left when a nice looking man steps up on the treadmill to my left.
He was a bit younger than me but I thought a nice welcoming smile would be nice. As I turned towards him I was hit full in the face with a wall of cologne. I blinked rapidly so that my eyeballs would not incinerate. He wasn’t talking but WHEW, he smelled like Pepe Le Pew! I had walked far enough and shut my machine down. I needed a drink.
On the way to the water fountain I thought I might just go over and weigh myself. I have one foot lifted to step on the scale when a young couple come over to examine some of the large colorful balls sitting beside the scale. I decide to go for another drink and see if they leave. I sip and sigh and saunter back over to the scale. This is a highly classified, private activity and they are still there. Standing. Talking. Laughing. I casually glide back over to the water fountain. I sip some more and glance over. The girl juts her hip out towards the boy. I would like to step on the scale and I need her to jut her scrawny hip right on outta here! I circle around.
Back to the water fountain. This time I grab my jacket and yank it over my head. I have had so much water that I know the scale won’t be accurate. I pull out my keys and head for the stairs. Sure enough the cutsie couple from the scale area dart in front of me and are out the door before I can lurch down the stairs. What in the world?
It was at this point that I decided I needed a cold Dr. Pepper on the way home more than I needed to weigh myself. Besides, I was still kinda thirsty!