A Few Lies and Pumpkin Cake

A Few Lies & Pumpkin Pies


I succumbed to temptation on Veteran’s Day. It was a Tuesday. The weather was absolutely perfect for a fall day. The sun was out. The clouds were absent. The children were home from school. I was thinking about the food I wanted to cook for Thanksgiving when our oldest son comes to visit. Now, I am totally against holiday shopping as I much prefer to spend the time with family, but on Veteran’s Day I decided I needed a new mixer.

I scrolled through the RetailMe app and found a 20 % off coupon for the store of my choice and woke the teen. I told her to get dressed that we were going to the mall. She shrieked and jumped up. I puttered around for a bit and then reviewed the coupon. Yikes! It was a time-limited coupon. We had to be there within 40 minutes. I ran to the teen’s room and told her to come now that we had to be in the store within 40 minutes so I could get my 20% off. I didn’t really Have to, have to, have a new mixer, but with the 20% off I felt like I could justify the purchase. I hurried the teen and we made it to the store in time.

I grabbed the mixer I wanted and proudly presented the online coupon to the ladies at the counter. They were nice but said that the coupon excluded electronics. I argued a bit and told them that a mixer was in the Home Department, not Electronics. They said no, but I could open up a charge account and get 15% just for opening up. I said “No thanks.” Then I looked at the new mixer. Then I looked at the teen. She was rolling her eyes. I said, “OK, let’s try it.”

They explained that I would have to just fill out a few things on the small pad where a person slides their debit card. It started out fine. I punched in numbers and hit enter and then it asked my for a phone number so I could be reached at any time. I looked at the clerk, “I don’t want to give my number to them, Can I just skip it?”

She was nice and said, “I just tell people to fill in with One’s.” So, I put in my area code followed by seven ones. The next screen asked me to confirm the phone number so I put in the One’s again. I hit enter and it began processing. Blip. Blip. Blip. It asked for my social security number. I entered it and blip, blip, blip it returned to the same screen – asking for my social. I entered it again and it sent me right back to the previous screen. So, I very carefully punched each number deliberately and slowly. The teen got fed up and left for other parts of the mall.

The clerk was waiting on me so I explained about the numbers. “Hmmm…” was all she said. She came around the counter and tried to help me. No luck. I said, “This is God’s way of telling me that I do not need a new mixer.” I kind of laughed and the clerk grimaced. She kept encouraging me. We tried again. Finally, I said, “Maybe it was the false phone numbers.”

She said, “No it shouldn’t be. I have seen others do this.”

I said, “I am going to be declined because you told me to lie on the phone numbers.” We started over. I used the erroneous One’s and tried dad’s social security. Nothing worked. We started over.  The teen has texted because she is miles away and has found a tunic sweater. I tell her to wait. Finally, THEY (now, it is two clerks) got a message to call the central office. I smile and remind them that they told me to lie. We all laugh. It is a joke between us now. I can hear them on the phone explaining why we used several versions of phone numbers as well as two different social security numbers. She listens and nods and smiles at me. Finally, I am asked to enter my “real” information again. BINGO!

Now, I have a credit card I don’t really want, the credit company thinks I am a habitual liar, and I broke my “no shopping on holidays” rule.

BUT, I came home and made pumpkin cake for the whole clan and all is well. They love the new mixer and have requested banana bread for tonight.

I’m not sure what the moral of this story is, but I have a new mixer and if you are feeling bad about telling some lies, come on over and have some pumpkin cake with me.

About Fawn Musick

Writings to make you Smile and Think. Fawn is an award winning newspaper columnist. She is an avid writer, blogger, and mom. Her advice comes from her years of mothering her eight children.
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