Record Days

I circle the parking lot looking for a spot close to the cart return. I edge around the corner and race to an open spot. I pull in, turn off the car, and take a deep breath. Twenty-five minutes until I have to meet the bus. I have my list.

I sling the keys into my purse, grab my phone and head to the automatic doors. I un-wedge a basket and roll it around the entry checking for a woggledy wheel and enter the den of temptation. Right away I see bags of jelly beans. Not the spiced ones or the fake, off-brand ones, but the good ones. They are only $1.00 a bag. I throw four into my basket. What a good price! I push my cart right past all of the cards, clothes, and spray bottles. I ignore the shampoo, the dog combs and the Aleve. Wait a minute! I could use the Aleve. I am in training for a 5K with my church group. I pick a large bottle and add it to my cart.

I glide past the movies, the baby clothes, and the little cheese graters designed to work on cracked heels. So far, so good. I enter the coffee aisle. Chocolate covered nuts are staring right at me. I think they would taste really good with coffee and pop them into my basket. I find the dark roast and toss it in with a bag of trail mix, cheesy crackers, and two boxes of popcorn. I consult my list. Ah, yes, juice.

I zip over to the frozen juice aisle and find Cool Whip. I get juice and two buckets of Cool Whip. “Cottage cheese,” I remind myself. I get to the end of the aisle and spy boxes of waffles. They are simply a necessity and the loaves of bread are actually ON THE LIST! All is under control. On the way to the cottage cheese, I manage to snag two roasts, two chickens, 5 pounds of hamburger, and a roll of breakfast sausage. I look at my watch. Don’t want to miss the kids’ bus.

I hurry through the dairy section, pick up what I need there and shove two cases of soda underneath. I peruse the list, look at my watch.  Ahhh, dang it, dish soap. I reverse and head down the cleaning aisle. Really, how could I not get the bleach and laundry soap while there? It would save a trip. Hmmm…I could re-arrange the drinks underneath to add some toilet paper while I am here. After all, gas costs and my time is worth something.

Taking a firm grip on the basket, I head to the front. I spy an open checkout and screech around the back of the basket to make the turn into lane #47. I transfer to the conveyer belt as fast as I can. I am bent over, hauling the toilet paper out from underneath the basket, when my phone rings. I smile at the checkout lady. She rolls her eyes. Rrrriiinnnngggg. Rrriiinnngggg. I decide to ignore it. “Your purse is ringing,” she snorts – like it is a new joke. I raise my eyebrows to enjoy the joke with her. I continue to transfer stuff while digging for my phone. I scramble. Finally, I find the phone under the eggs and loaves of bread. “Hello,” I fairly scream as I place the last of the items on the conveyor belt. The checkout lady relentlessly “dings” my items across the lasers. It is my brother-in-law. I tell him I can’t talk. I jam the phone in my pocket and keep transferring.

With a final tap on her screen, she says, “$296.37.”

$296.37? Really? I have only been in the store for twenty-three minutes. This must be some kind of record. I consult the list. Yes! The six items from the list were purchased AND if I hurry I can still make the bus.

Some days things just work out!

About Fawn Musick

Writings to make you Smile and Think. Fawn is an award winning newspaper columnist. She is an avid writer, blogger, and mom. Her advice comes from her years of mothering her eight children.
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One Response to Record Days

  1. kbaake says:

    You didn;t buy the National Enquirier at the checkout–the one with the article on Jennifer Anniston carrying a space alien’s children?

    Seriously, I enjoy your creative side Fawn. You can be the next Irma Bombeck.

    Like

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