We work hard, we play hard, and our relationships are more complex than we really want them to be. We stress and worry, kneel and pray, bite our nails and often add emoticons to our e-mails in an effort to get through each day. Our kids drive us crazy, our mothers still tell us what to do, and our job isn’t exactly what we thought it would be. However, if we look closely, we catch ourselves laughing at the absurdities that surround us. Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying, and sometimes we ask, how is it that a kid can run a computer, a cell phone, and the DISH network, but hasn’t got a clue about how to clean the toilet, look for a job, or cook supper?
As a mother of eight, I find that life is interesting, to say the least. My writing began years ago when my kids were small and I had six in the morning to get up, fed, dressed, and off to school. If I was not bawling from exhaustion or frustration, I found that I was laughing over their antics and maneuvering. Across time, I have found that life in general can be just as interesting as raising a bunch of kids (children that is). This blog is meant to shed a little light on the absurdities of life we all experience and hopefully, as you finish reading, you can take away a little smile, laugh out loud, think a bit deeper, and have a better day.
Things You Will Do that you said you would never do if you had kids.
Isn’t it funny how people who have never raised a kid have all of the advice? Or some young couple with a two-month-old can tell you how to handle your teen? We all try to be nice to those folks and pray that they have sextuplets. Before we had kids we had definite ideas on what we would do and what we wouldn’t do. Having kids is a little more stressful than we bargained for and yet we keep repeating the process! If you are a newbie to the world of kids, or even have to sub-in a few time for others, here are a few things you can go ahead and prepare for:
You will work harder than you ever thought possible
You will cry
You will need a prayer group
You will touch throw up
You will scream in times of stress
You will need quiet time – how you go about doing this can get pretty inventive
You will feel guilty
You will use spit to wash their little faces
You will laugh
You will automatically hold your hand out when they spit out gum
You will be able to drive, feed cheese sticks to the baby, encourage your teen and make business decisions all at one time
You will lock them out of the bathroom and sometimes out of the house.
You will drive a van the size of a boat
You will forget to pick up a kid at school at least once – depending on how many you have.
Your life will be full of laughter if you can just see how funny it is to burp and fart at the same time
Your carpet will be stained and your walls marked on in some kind of permanent ink
You will be tired
You will say “yes” when other moms ask you to keep their kids so they can go to Hawaii
You will be sick and tired
You will be on your last nerve
Your walls will have dirty streaks about 3 feet off the floor from hands running alongside it.
You will work
You will say things that you don’t mean
You will say you are sorry
You will end up at church partially undressed at least once
You will hold them down for their shots
There will never be enough food in the house
At least once you will say, “Do you want a spanking?” It can’t be helped
You will bawl through H.S. graduation even though you can’t wait for them to leave in August
You will wear out your knees praying for them to come home safely at night
You will rise to the occasion and become a stronger person
You will be changed